August Underground

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Dread really can seep into your bones and start breaking you apart on a cellular level like radiation. I never got to be caught off guard by the sensation, it was so something I was supposed to be familiar with. I had no way to explain nor to justify why I was feeling it. I simply could not vocalize why unfamiliar streets made me feel nostalgic or why a random buildings glass door reminding me of an emergency room I have been to many times -too many times- made me want to throw up the lunch i did not eat. It started to come to me in dreams later on. As men chasing me down and vast oceans and confined spaces. I was just scared of dying a nasty death, at11 and with many things unaccomplished. Alas, I did not, and I had to experience love and betrayal and hate and learn to respect and to obey. It made me a bitter and angry teenager. When it was finally time for me to be happy and loved, I became an object. My words are straight poison, I feel nothing but satisfaction when I hit the mark. I can feel the shift beneath my skin, muscle growing and fascia getting thicker.

Waiting for my own. 

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