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August Underground

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Dread really can seep into your bones and start breaking you apart on a cellular level like radiation. I never got to be caught off guard by the sensation, it was so something I was supposed to be familiar with. I had no way to explain nor to justify why I was feeling it. I simply could not vocalize why unfamiliar streets made me feel nostalgic or why a random buildings glass door reminding me of an emergency room I have been to many times -too many times- made me want to throw up the lunch i did not eat. It started to come to me in dreams later on. As men chasing me down and vast oceans and confined spaces. I was just scared of dying a nasty death, at11 and with many things unaccomplished. Alas, I did not, and I had to experience love and betrayal and hate and learn to respect and to obey. It made me a bitter and angry teenager. When it was finally time for me to be happy and loved, I became an object. My words are straight poison, I feel nothing but satisfaction when I hit the mark. ...
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"GOD DOESN'T WATCH THIS FAR OUT" experimental story "

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 “And Cain said unto the Lord, My punishment is greater than I can bear.” Genesis 4:13 The gas station was abandoned. Not closed— abandoned . The roof sagged like it had secrets. Weeds grew through the concrete. A single streetlight buzzed faintly overhead, spitting white noise into the dark. Harley leaned against the rusting ice chest, her lighter clicking again and again with no cigarette. Just the ritual. Her nails were chipped black, and her eyes had that faraway gleam. The one she wore when she was somewhere else, someplace only she could see. Dylan sat on the curb, arms draped over his knees. His hoodie sleeves were dirty at the cuffs. He wasn’t cold, just tired. Bone-tired. From school, from home, from Harley.  From Eden. She crouched beside him. Her hair fell in a curtain that smelled like someone else’s perfume. Her fingers brushed his.  He almost said her name. The real one. Eden. The one that only slipped out when he was dreaming or bleeding. Instead, he stood ...
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"EDEN" relationships

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Harley sat on the hood of Dylan’s car, legs crossed, hoodie zipped up to her throat even though it was warm out. Her brown hair sprawled beneath her head. The ocean was a black smear behind them, loud but invisible. Dylan was lying on the roof, one leg hanging off the side, sneaker tapping lightly against the windshield. She could see his sea glass eyes staring up lazily. He grew into his jersey. He didn't let his sandy blonde hair grow. Thought the buzz cut made him look older. It did. He looked like a man. An awkward, weird little man. “You ever think about just...not doing any of it?” she asked, voice flat. Not sad. Just curious. “Any of what?” “ What comes after, school.” Dylan laughed under his breath. “Like what, just stay here forever and rot?” “I don't know” she said, tugging her sleeves down over her hands.  There was a pause. The sky above was so full of nothing it almost seemed heavy. No stars. Just haze. “Vanessa would hate that” Dylan said. “She says dying’s only c...
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"FEED" last day

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Harley stopped painting her nails. Not because she didn’t care, she still wore the white hoodie that swallowed her whole like a straightjacket made of cotton. But the tiny rituals, the gloss, the eyeliner wings, the chewing gum she swore kept her sane all stopped one by one, like lights going out in the distance. She was conserving energy, maybe. Or time.  She watched her own reflection that day, lingered longer than she used to, as though waiting for it to move on its own. In the bathroom mirror. In shop windows. In Dylan’s eyes. There was a shift.  Not loud. Not sharp. Just enough. It started when she found the dead cat outside the building early in the morning, stiff in the snow with its stomach split open, pink spilling like melted bubblegum. She stared at it for fifteen minutes. When Dylan found her, she didn’t say anything. Just asked if he had a lighter. She didn’t smoke. “I think I’m going to die here,” she told Vanessa over FaceTime a few hours later. Not dramatic. No...
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